Southern Belles

*Southern women appreciate their natural assets:*
Clean skin.
A winning smile.
That unforgettable Southern drawl.

*Southern women know their manners*:
*'Yes, ma'am.'
'Yes, sir.'
'Why, no, Billy!'

*Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions*
'Y'all come back!'
'Well, bless your heart.'
'Drop by when you can.'
'How's your Momma?'

*Southern women know their summer weather report:*
Hot, Humid
Hot, Humid
Hot, Humid

*Southern women know their vacation spots:*
The beach
The rivuh (River)
The crick

*Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:*
Colorful hi-heel sandals
Strapless sun dresses
Iced sweet tea with mint

*Southern women know everybody's first name*:
Honey
Darlin'
Shugah (sugar)

*Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:*
Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The Wind

*Southern women know their religions*:
Baptist
Methodist
Football

*Southern women know their country breakfasts*:
Red-eye gravy
Grits, Eggs
Country ham
Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly

*Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm*:
Chawl'stn
Meem fis
S'vanah
Foat Wuth
N'awlins
Addlanna

*Southern women know their elegant gentlemen*:
Men in uniform.
Men in tuxedos
Rhett Butler

*Southern girls know their prime real estate*:
The Mall
The Country Club
The Beauty Salon

*Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins*:
Having bad hair and nails
Having bad manners
Cooking bad food

*More Suthen-ism's*:
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissy fit and a conniption
fit, and that you don't 'HAVE' them, you 'PITCH' them.

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas,
beans, etc., make up 'a mess.'

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of 'yonder.'

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long 'directly' is, as in: 'Going to
town, be back directly.' (correctly pronounced 'drectly')

Even Southern babies know that 'Gimme some sugar*' *is not a request for the
white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the
middle of the table.

All Southerners know exactly when 'by and by' is. They might not use the
term, but they know the concept well.

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a
neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of
cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also
know to add a large banana puddin!

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between 'right near' and 'a
right far piece.'

They also know that 'just down the road' can be 1 mile or 20.

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn
signal is actually going to make a turn.

A Southerner knows that 'fixin' can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.


Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, . .. and when we're
'in line,' We talk to everybody.

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're
related, even if only by marriage.

In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are
perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that
fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

When you hear someone say, 'Well, I caught myself lookin',' you know you are
in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

Only true Southerners say 'sweet tea'and 'sweet milk.' Sweet tea indicates
the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea
unsweetened. 'Sweet
milk' means you don't want buttermilk.

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old
ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,' Bless her heart' ...
and go your own way.

To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take
two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the
morning. Bless your heart!

And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long
time, all *y'all *need a sign to hang on *y'all's* front porch that reads 'I
*ain't* from the South, but I got here as fast as I could.'

Just a little Southern humor for all my Southern Sisters out there. We know who we are!! By the way it is hard to raise daughters to be Southern Belles while living on the West Coast, but I am tryin' my best!